Wordsteal (shameless plug)

Ok , i know people will accidentally stumble across this blog while googling things like scrabble so let me just say that as a wordgame you scrabble nuts should really give wordsteal a try and especially head to the league for tournaments. www.wordsteal.com , its a version of wordox and its like scrabble except meaner. So please , oh mighty badass scrabble people , come show off for the poor relations at steal, you great grand wordsmiths....lmfao

Funny MetroDad Stories

One of the blogs i have been reading is from a guy named metrodad who just happens to be a funny mfer. Here are a couple of gems from his site....

Bono

Bono is at a U2 concert in Glasgow when he asks the audience for some quiet.

Then in the deafening silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total captivity, he says softly and seriously into the microphone …

“Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies……”

Suddenly, from the front row of the venue and breaking the total silence, a voice yells out in a drunk Scottish brogue...

“Well, for fuck's sake, stop fookin doin’ it then!”


HER FIRST PAYCHECK

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door, and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her odd little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration, and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "Sure, if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the mother-fucking sheetrock!"

LMFAO!!!!!

The kiddo

C.J has a cold , coughing her head off and she generally feels like crap. Lasty night she came over and hugged me and said "im so glad i have you and mommy to take care of me". Sweet huh? The question for the ages is how in the hell did me and Cyndi make such a sweet child? Anyone who knows us should wonder as well. Get better baby we love ya!

I fart in the general direction of build-a-bear

This Christmas C.J got a build-a-bear giftcard so several days ago we took her over to Evansville to cash it in. The bear alone was 25 bucks which wiped out the card. That left mommy and dadddy to pay for clothes for the bear. another 20 dollars later C.J. walked out happy as hell with an ICarly bear.

Fast forward a few days... we are laying on the bed , im relaxing , kiddo is watching the show ICarly and i cut loose with a blast from the past. Normally , both of us would laugh our asses off and life would go on but... and its a big butt, i didnt realize that the bear was behind me. Nowhere near my ass but still behind me. C.j. jumped up looking for the bear while im laying there laughing. She sees the bear behind me and immediately starts bawling and accusing me of pooting on the friggin bear. I deny it, told her the bear wasnt even close, but no dice. She actually smelled the bear , still crying and yells at me some more. Now the crying has pissed me off and i grab the bear and throw it and tell her to go get ready for bed which only sets her off even worse. I swear the bear was nowhere near my ass....

So anyway Cyndi comes thru and calls me mean old daddy, i say yeah right whatever and go to bed. The moral of this story is... "fart humor with the kid is great but for the love of all things holy dont fart anywhere near your little girls teddy bear". I hope this helps all dads out there that may read it.

First Post

Hello everyone. In this first post I will let new and old friends and readers know kinda what to expect from me and my writing.

First and foremost i am not into the politically correct thing. I make fun of everyone and everything. This means that if you are black, white, yellow , red , gay , straight , perverted ,deeply religious (or not) , handicapped mentally or physically, rich or poor, powerful or weak , young or old etc etc etc ...,. i will probably offend you. Offended or not, i hope you get a laugh out of my exploits both before and after becoming a husband and a father.

Now that we have established the fact that i am fully capable of pissing off everyone in the world (which i am really looking forward to doing), You can also expect to get my views on books, tv, music ,culture and anything else i care to write about. Feel free to leave all the comments you want or email me at scapedaddy67@yahoo.com. Posts could happen several times a day or once in awhile... depends on what i feel like doing. Cya