I fart in the general direction of build-a-bear

This Christmas C.J got a build-a-bear giftcard so several days ago we took her over to Evansville to cash it in. The bear alone was 25 bucks which wiped out the card. That left mommy and dadddy to pay for clothes for the bear. another 20 dollars later C.J. walked out happy as hell with an ICarly bear.

Fast forward a few days... we are laying on the bed , im relaxing , kiddo is watching the show ICarly and i cut loose with a blast from the past. Normally , both of us would laugh our asses off and life would go on but... and its a big butt, i didnt realize that the bear was behind me. Nowhere near my ass but still behind me. C.j. jumped up looking for the bear while im laying there laughing. She sees the bear behind me and immediately starts bawling and accusing me of pooting on the friggin bear. I deny it, told her the bear wasnt even close, but no dice. She actually smelled the bear , still crying and yells at me some more. Now the crying has pissed me off and i grab the bear and throw it and tell her to go get ready for bed which only sets her off even worse. I swear the bear was nowhere near my ass....

So anyway Cyndi comes thru and calls me mean old daddy, i say yeah right whatever and go to bed. The moral of this story is... "fart humor with the kid is great but for the love of all things holy dont fart anywhere near your little girls teddy bear". I hope this helps all dads out there that may read it.